What exactly is a Player HateHer? It’s a term we’ve coined to describe a universal and age-old phenomenon: women hating on other women. At some point in our lives, all women player hate. It’s a fact. We player hate on women we don’t know, as well as some of our closest friends. And most of us have also been the victims of player hating. The purpose of this book is to bring a world of women closer together—women who are otherwise divided by the silliest reasons—by making them laugh out loud about their player hating ways as much as we did about ours. Ultimately, embracing the humor of player hating will help women overcome the destructive cycle—the jealousy, lies, rumors—that seems too often to weaken the bond of our sisterhood. And the better we get along, the more we can accomplish.
But let’s back up for a moment. If someone was referred to as a “player hater” in the 1960s, it meant that he or she was critical of a “Mack” – a man with power over the finest women. A “cool cat,” if you will. To celebrate the true “players” there were fancy player’s balls. At these functions, the Mack of the Year would be crowned. The men who lost would be secretly jealous and find every flaw possible in the new Mack. Well, we’ve taken the term “player hater” and redirected it towards women.
These days, as women advance in countless ways, player hating seems to have grown into an unacknowledged national pastime. And yes, we’re also guilty of the crime. A few summers ago, while on a business trip in the British Virgin Islands, we really became aware our player hating ways. Seated poolside for some relaxation and a little people watching, we spotted an African-American woman sitting alone across the deck. We immediately began to assess this woman, starting with her looks; by our standards, they were average. Then we moved on to wondering how she could afford a vacation at such a nice resort, and where she got the nerve to wear that little bikini. The hating really started when a nice-looking Caucasian man walked up to her, put his hands on her shoulders and gave her a passionate kiss. After the initial shock wore off, we had more questions: How could she be on this island with a man while two beautiful women like us were alone? Who did she think she was? And what did he possibly see in her?
To make matters worse, when the woman got up to leave the pool area, she stopped and introduced herself to us. We smiled politely, but shrank a little into our lounge chairs with our guilty consciences. The woman gave us her room number and invited us to hang out with her and her husband—they were honeymooning—if we had the time. “It’s so good to bump into some sisters from the states,” she said with a gracious smile. Needless to say, we felt very small.
But fortunately, we were able to see the humor in the situation, and recognize how common it is for women to judge other women without knowing the first thing about them. This isn’t a harmless habit, girls, it’s got consequences: too often, we focus on bringing down the other woman, and in the process we demean ourselves and forfeit the chance of a friendship.
The importance of female friendship has never been more acknowledged by our society than it is today—evidenced by the mushrooming of book clubs, ladies’ nights, tv hits such as Sex and the City, and more—and yet there is no other book on the market which addresses this all-to-common stumbling block to women’s relationships with other women.
Tamara Johnson-George and Katrina Chambers have been friends for many years. Articulate, telegenic, and stylish, they are ideal authors to promote Player HateHer. The tone of this book matches the spirited give-and-take of their friendship, and readers will feel like they’re sitting around sharing laughs and stories with their best friends—if their best friends were this hilarious and brutally honest. The book is structured according to different “types” of player hating, and every woman is sure to find herself somewhere in these stories.
ABOUT THE AUTHORS
TAMARA A. JOHNSON-GEORGE, a native New Yorker, is widely known as “Taj”—one third of the nineties multi-platinum R&B group, Sisters With Voices (SWV). Sisters With Voices recorded multiple albums and is still revered as one of the leading pioneers for up and coming girl groups. Tamara has several passions, including acting, modeling and poetry, an interest which led her to write several songs on three of the groups’ albums. She has lived and worked in Los Angeles, where she starred in the gospel musical “If Loving You Is Wrong, I Don’t Want To Do Right.” Four years ago Tamara decided to return to school to complete her education, and she is now an alumna of Belmont University in Nashville, TN, where she earned her Bachelor of Arts degree in Marketing. She currently resides in Nashville, TN with her husband, 1995 Heisman Trophy winner Eddie George.
KATRINA R. CHAMBERS is a graduate of Angelo State University, San Angelo, TX (B.A., 1994) where she majored in Communications and English. Upon graduation she moved to Atlanta, GA where she began her work in the entertainment industry, specializing in film and video production, primarily writing and producing music videos. She worked as an in-house producer for a local production company producing music videos for several different record labels including Motown, LaFace, Jive, and SoSo Def Records before eventually leaving to pursue a full-time career in entertainment in New York City. Since that time, she has taught Video Technology and Communications at high schools in North Carolina and Texas. Throughout, Katrina has gained several years experience in publicity and marketing and in 2002 she started her own PR and Marketing firm, PRO-TENTIAL Management (www.pro-tential.com). In addition, she is the Producer of TEEN SCENE, a weekly radio talk show for teens. Katrina currently divides her time between homes in Washington, D.C. and New York City.